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Every Member a Minister
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Every Member a Visitor
I was hurting and feeling alone. Then this man, not really a friend, an acquaintance, gave me a call. He said something like, “you don’t need to be in this fix, and it can get better. I will be glad to help.” Well, it was like the sun coming out on a summer hillside full of flowers. I could breathe again. There was someone there. And he was there for me.
Now life doesn’t have to get out of hand for us to appreciate a visit from someone else. That visit, no matter how things are going, will tell us that we are needed, that we are worth something, that, ultimately, God loves us. We need that interaction. We might not physically touch another (although that is important) and still we touch them with our listening ears and listening eyes.
Part of our life at Prince of Peace is that we do not rely upon one Pastor to do the visitation ministry of the church. Neither do we rely upon just one group or committee to be the visitors for us. We know that visitation is a responsibility of every member and friend.
Yes, it is true that some of our visitation has been assigned. The Ministry Coordinator (that’s me) is charged to make a visit ASAA (As Soon As Appropriate) with guests, to help them negotiate the early stages of their relationship with our congregation. Occasionally the Ministry Coordinator will visit with members concerning the use of their God given strengths in the congregation. Then, the deacons are charged with making calls upon the sick and shut in of the congregation. If someone loses a loved one, we have several ministers in the congregation who are able and willing to help. The same goes for marriages, baptisms and communion. We who are ordained are learning to work together to share this ministry.
But there is plenty of need beyond this little visiting.
Who needs all this visiting? Well, we each need to be visited. Yes, even those of us who have been part of the church for years. Of course! We all need the comfort of another who will visit us.
But even more than us, there are those who might want to join in the congregation of Jesus Christ. They are our neighbors. Our coworkers. They are people with whom we don’t normally come into contact, but who, as children of God, deserve our care. They are people who are by our way, who are in our way and for whom we go out of our way.
We say we want to grow the membership of our church, but do we really want to do that? In order to build our church we have to BE the church. And we BE church as we spend time caring for one another. So when we visit each other, we are the church of Jesus Christ. When we visit with our neighbor, we are the church of Jesus Christ. Do we really want to BE Jesus’ church with these new folks?
What I am calling for is for each of us to consider our visiting ministries. Who is God calling you to visit? How does God suggest you make contact with these folks?
One thing I am doing is calling up folks who are young adult Brethren types and then inviting them to my house (or Peter and Amanda’s) and just getting to know them, and then spending some time studying the Bible and learning to pray. This has been really energizing for me to do. My wife, Judi, has joined a community garden and already we have had one family over for dinner.
What I want to challenge some of us to do is to expand our idea of visitation and do more. Yes, finding new ways of meeting each other or people we have never met. (I know that there are some of us for whom this challenge is unnecessary, you know who you are.) If you really are not visiting anyone with intention, would you consider making an at-least-one-visit-a-week commitment? Think of it. If our thirty-five or fifty five regular members each made one visit each week we would have accomplished up to 2860 visits in a year.
This is not just to get our church to grow. Really, who cares how many people God brings to our congregation? What it is really is to be the church, right now in our lives. To share His love, and in so doing, receive that love.
I was lonely and feeling lost and someone said “how’s it going?” “It doesn’t stop here.” “I will be with you.” And even though all that was said over the phone, he somewhere decided that he and I were going to be the church. He’s kept me in the church (I hope he knows who he is.) And helped me to be the man God wants me to be.
Blessings,
Jeff Neuman-Lee, Ministry Coordinator July 007
To contact the Ministry Coordinator, jeffneumanleepop@gmail.com
To contact the Deacon Chair, Ellen Anderson, aellen1@msn.com
We are glad to serve.
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MAKING VISITS PART II
So you have made a decision that you want to visit people to make connections in Jesus' Spirit. Then what?
Here are a few ideas about what to do before, during and after a visit with someone.
BEFORE YOU GO.
Stop
Well, of course. It's time to stop a bit and let yourself breathe. What does God say at this point? Is there someone in particular you are called to visit, or does God simply want you to go out and discover the person who is there for you? Do you focus upon the person you will visit? Do you imagine what that encounter might be like? Are you anxious about any part of the encounter?
Review
What is your Good News? (If someone were to ask you in a sentence or two what your understanding of the message of Jesus Christ is, what would you say?) For instance, my description of the Good News is : God is with us. Jesus came into the world to teach us, show us and to be for us the present love of God.
Now, let's face it, if you have a couple of sentences like that, you have thought of what is really important to you and what you believe is important to others. If you have been a Christian for any length of time, you need to have those couple of sentences.
Trust
If you believe the Good News you know, trust in it. For me, I remember that God is with us, me and this other person, in our conversation and in our lives.
DURING THE VISIT
Listen
Your visit may be nothing more than you being quiet and listening. Well, be polite and say things like "hello" and "hmmmm" and "goodbye." Probably more. But listen. What is this person saying? Listening is, for me, the hardest part. I have so much to say and what I have to say is really, really important. (At least to me.) But I need to listen to this other person. But, even harder than setting aside what I want to say, is to understand where this other person is coming from.
Judi and I have an interesting on-going conversation about how people say one thing and how easy it is to hear them meaning something very different. On paper the words can literally mean two different things. How easy it is to project what you want someone to mean onto them. And then totally miss them.
How do we understand someone else? Really?
Oh, one other thing, if you tend to be a talker --- you know who you are --- here’s an idea: ask yourself “what proportion of the conversation do I take up?” If you are taking up more than your share, how can you give a larger share of it to the other person? If they are shy, or come upon their words with difficulty, how can you help them participate with you better in the conversation?
Ask questions
Have you ever been in a conversation where the other person never asks you a question? Never to clarify your point? Never to get deeper into your opinion? It happens to me from time to time and I wonder if that other person really wants me there or if I am just a mirror for his or her speech. Asking good questions of each other is an excellent way of getting beyond trading opinions and actually, from the conversation itself, learning something new, from each other and from God.
Now let’s be careful here. Sometimes questions can be used as weapons. If you have an implied demand for a certain sort of answer, or if you are ready to pounce with the “right” answer when the person you are questioning gets it wrong, you really did not ask a question, you were interrogating in order to judge them (or so it can feel) or setting the stage for your own response. There are at least two people in this conversation, not just you. Use your power as you are able to help both of you to be part of it.
Trust
OK, we have to use this one again. We are trusting that God will be with us in this interaction. Perhaps the person says something which you can't understand, even after they say it again; or, perhaps worse, something which raises the hair on the back of your neck in anger.
God is using this time. God is with you. Breathe.
Now is the time to say what you need to say to open yourself as a gift to the other person. Maybe you share something very simple like your favorite sports team, or some piece of personal history so that you let this other person know you are human. Perhaps it seems appropriate to share something a bit risky.
When Jesus died on the cross, he offered himself to all humanity. When you are listening and then sharing, there is a clear connection to this same sort of offering. It is a holy thing to listen and to share, because done in love, it is the same sort of self giving.
Invite
You may not get around to inviting the person you are visiting to anything. But if you want them to do something, you have to:
1. invite rather than demand. The growth of the Sprit among humanity is not accomplished through coercion, but rather through our individual spirits accepting and choosing to go on our own.
2. invite with a clarity that will help them to understand you. (Now aren't you glad you reviewed your Good News?) If you are inviting them to come to church worship with you, be clear and set it up. If you are inviting them at that moment to consider your understanding of the Good News, and perhaps to accept Jesus, be ready to pray with them.
3. listen with clarity as to what they say and why.
Permission
Sometimes the person you are visiting requests prayer or offers joys or concerns which you feel need to be shared with others. Always ask permission before sharing anything with anyone else. The exceptions to this rule are few and far between (i.e. they pose danger to themselves or others.) As a congregation and as individuals we want a reputation of discretion. If they would like others to pray for them, which others? The ministry team? The Deacons? The whole congregation? The whole world?
AFTER THE VISIT
Thank God
Let God know you are so glad for all the lessons you learned in this interaction and thank God for what has or will happen in the person you visited.
Take the time
Don't just go onto the next thing. Your visit may be over with this person, but you still need to think and pray about them. How is God working to build up the relationship between you two? Are there any next steps for you? Are there others in the congregation who this person should specifically meet?
Reporting in
It is not always appropriate to let others know about your visits. But it is helpful to share with someone who will pray for you as you visit others. And, at Prince of Peace, remember that there are other resources to help with visitation. The deacons make certain sorts of calls, the members of the ministry team are willing to help and the Ministry Coordinator is especially useful in helping a person find their place within the congregation.
Jeff Neuman-Lee, Ministry Coordinator, August 007
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